Navigating Transitions: Retirement
How can you have a smooth transition from a demanding and purpose-driven role to retirement without having a crisis of identity?
The work you do brings so much meaning to your life and fills much of your time. People say you should look forward to retirement but it is a major life transition that starts with the end of your working identity.
There is a whole range of feelings, beliefs and fears to work through on your journey to a fulfilling retirement. This new life can seem unimaginable, unrelatable and far away and yet it will be your reality, and it is approaching. How do you work towards what life looks like on the other side of retirement?
This is the brave work that Charlene Tait and I embarked on together. Charlene had worked for Scottish Autism for 32 years and was the Deputy Chief Executive for 5 years. As a driven, passionate woman, co-leading a service delivery and lobbying organisation for so many years had taken over as the primary focus in her life. Facing her desire to retire, she realised that retirement needed a different approach.
She said: “I was quite unprepared for the emotional rollercoaster ride that is exiting a thirty plus years career.”
Mapping out the future
As the coaching progressed, we uncovered that Charlene wanted many things from her retirement.
She wanted to develop a full and fun retirement but was aware that work had been such a major focus and big part of her identity that it would be a big transition. She felt the temptation to set up a consulting business and throw herself into more work, it was familiar and what she knew. Her skills were in demand but taking all of the work that was on offer to fill her days was not the retirement she wanted. She wanted to enjoy rest and relaxation, but she wasn’t used to it and didn’t know what to do with her time.
We did a lot of work on limiting beliefs and how these beliefs shaped what she thought was and wasn’t possible for her retirement. By noticing these beliefs, she was able to choose whether or not to act on them. Unshackled from old beliefs she was able to freely explore what she wanted. We devised practices that built her capacity to make different choices when old beliefs kicked in. LIberating!
We explored Charlene’s values and she was able to develop these to the point where she was able to use them as a lens to understand what fulfilled her and didn’t. This became a blueprint for her to explore and experiment. As we discovered what she loved to do and what fulfilled her outside of work I encouraged to try new things and see how they worked.
Finding support to navigate change
Big life transitions can cause a lot of fear. She wanted space to explore her feelings as she transitioned out of the organisation which had been so important to her for 32 years. Coaching gave Charlene a safe and challenging space to explore her feelings as she transitioned out of the organisation which had been so important to her for 32 years. She was able to let these feelings emerge and we worked on practices that built Charlene’s capacity to be comfortable with these difficult emotions as she explored what to do next. Recognising what she really wanted meant that we could start working towards making it a reality.
We often turn to our trusted inner circle when transitions loom in our lives. This group of people know us the best and so can struggle to see use differently. This means that they are not always the best partners when it comes to transforming our sense of self and exploring new identities. In our coaching, we explored a wide range of options and possibilities for Charlene which would have been difficult for her nearest and dearest to do.
The road to retirement can be bumpy. We were able to foresee the bumps and make space for all the feelings that surfaced, enabling Charlene to navigate these stages in the way she wanted, not driven by fear.
Charlene said: “Beatrice knew exactly when to enable me to sit with those emotions and when to nudge me on. I cannot recommend her highly enough. I very much needed the mirror she held up to enable me to make it over the finish line with a smile on my face.”
If you are facing a major life transition, such a retirement, it is important to be aware that you will need space to explore all the emotions that come up and time to experiment with new identities. Having someone alongside you who is not part of your inner circle will help you on this journey (or roller coaster as Charlene would say!).
You don’t have to do it alone.